xi gua tian bu tian? TIANNNN bwahahahahahaha

I just thought I should acknowledge my source of entertainment during boring times of my unemployment.

:D:D:D

On a side note I think my left eye is swollen! Hurts when I blink. Sucks. And we're having guests tomorrow. :( no I won't wear my specs! The white is peeling off like mad so my glasses look whitish and silverish (inside part) in a really really bad way. Like I'm too poor to afford a new pair. Which is not the case ok I am just plain lazyyyy.

Someone told me there are better things to do on such a fine day like this instead of glueing my ass to the seat in front of the computer every single day when I have no plans. Ok fine. I think I might do a little solo shopping later at Orchard. :D Love isolating myself, damn weird. But on the other hand I seem to be having more output than input, so... if I don't go shopping I might go and jog. Or bake.

Ahhahahah the choice is obvious.

Ok I'm simply just bored and you have just wasted a couple of minutes of your life reading this.

dream vs reality

I had such a marvellous dream last night.

Maybe it's my subconscious self speaking? But it resulted in me doing the most wtf-are-you-thinking thing today. I seriously had no idea what came over me today.

Sorry. :(

I shall drift to lala-land in search of part 2.

chronicles of my 19th year on earth

Hiya everyone!!

In quite a restless mood now so I decided to blog!

Today's already the second day of the lunar new year! Whoa good times really fly pass real quick. Which also mean I'm 19 and 3 days old. I don't really feel any different from like 2 years ago... but 19 sounds fucking old! Anyway a big thanks to all that (bothered to) wish me a happy birthday :D though it spanned from 23rd to 26th haha. I am quite touched that certain friends whom I am not so close with actually made the effort to wish me and a little irritated that some closer friends let that slip their minds. Really makes me take a step back and reconsider everything about everyone.

Ok I'm just analshit cos I expect good friends to bother if not they are called your friends for fuck meh.

This post shall be more on my birthday than CNY cos technically CNY isn't over yet so nothing much to say. Ahhaha all attention shall be on me.

So anyway! First person who spent her time with me is dearest IVIE! :D:D:D Met on the 23rd after I knocked off for dinner/supper at Lau Pa Sat cos she cannot make it on the 24th for lunch! I wonder who is more important than me HAHAHA.



Ivie's treat :D

The food wasn't bad except I felt that the xiaolongbaos could be better. The prawn dumplings were awesome. And yes I know, we are such small eaters HAHA.

Ivie the teacher says "This is a char siew pau".



Praying that I will do well for As.

Totally started singing Happy Birthday at 12am but refuse to let me video her cos it was super spastic. Thus the picture which looks like she is mourning. And and and she doesn't want to go up the stage to sing cos she doesn't love me :(



YAY.


On Saturday I was late (nothing new) cos I was super freaking tired and overslept. End up I cabbed to Suntec to meet Cheryl and Lisa! Visited TP and tried his hot sauce sample then went to Sizzler for lunch!

I remembered that I ate there like 10years ago and didn't like the food. My verdict today remains the same. Damn should have requested for another place. I paid 20bucks for something I don't like and didn't eat much! How bloody atrocious, given my current financial status. Anyway, upload pictures next time - they are with Cheryl! I only have one pathetic photo with Lisa when we were waiting for Cheryl to be done in the restroom.


Yeah yeah I look fugly/fat, whatever.

After that they left for class gathering then I went to find TP at his hot sauce store to slack before second round of outing. Everyone, please go and visit the push cart which is located just outside Carrefour next to an escalator and try the sauce. The hottest one had a conflict with my already bad throat and it had a nasty throb for the rest of the day. Mind you, it was a freaking minute drop of it.


Request for this.

Ahhaha it was damn shuang looking at TP serving customers while I sat there and nua to regain some energy. :D Repeating stuff over and over and over again...

Yes so after that helped him close shop and count money. I swear his accounts is damn lousy. Confirm. HAHAHA. :x Bought a blouse from Flesh Imp, then headed off to meet GG and WP at Plaza Singapura! Andrea couldn't make it halfway :( :( :(

Went to Alps Cafe, which had quite a sleepy ambience (or maybe it's just me heh). The food was average with not much choices, but I enjoyed myself much more due to awesome company and the fact I was a little not in the right state of mind with the help of excessive tiredness and Long Island Tea. I was very touched and quite stunned when they gave me my present. :') At first when I saw the Agnes B paper bag I thought they were trying to con me heh. Then I asked if it was a fake when I opened it. SORRY LAH PEOPLE NOT USED TO OTHERS SPENDING SO MUCH ON ME OK.

And people also not used to others noticing stuff that I casually mention I like. Sigh... I have such great friends. :''')

Then, they presented me with a Hello Kitty cake. -___- Damn gay please! I don't like Hello Kitty! Give me Power Ranger anyday HAHAHA. Anyway thanks Andrea for bringing it down. Sentence is half filled with sarcasm and my fei fu zhi yan.


Bah.

Apparently they forgot a candle so I had to blow out a lighter. -_- And they freaking sang Happy Birthday ala accapella which I totally buried my face in my hands until they finished singing, which I estimated to be about 3 minutes. Fucking funny yet embarrassing at the same time.

Went to the arcade after footing the bill and I was half asleep playing Jubeat and the drumming one, forgot the name. Although I was really deadbeat at the end of it all, I was generally really happy that night. Very few pictures cos I forgot to take! T_T


A big thank you to my awesome boys for paying for all of my expenses that night, i.e food, drinks, arcade, cab. Walau, I feel damn spoilt lah! Spend so much on me. :/ Later I get used to it you all will be broke ahhahaha.

Yes so that was a good ending to my day! Ok on a random note I feel like going to k! My cough has been dragging on for so long that I cannot sing without gasping for air, but I don't care already cos I want to go k. Like NOW NOW NOW. Argh so irritating! Anyone want to k with me please sms me ASAP!

A close friend suggested that I should try to get into the creative line instead of doing the plain old routine courses for university. Which I totally don't mind lah but money is a concern. Oh my god I think I'm getting more and more money-minded nowadays, that is really bad. Now my only goal is to get a new job that will give me a different experience and hopefully pays well. Then I'll go and learn manicure and drumming. And perhaps continue with my yangqin.

Ok I have no idea why I'm saying all these. GOODNIGHT. 4 hours is ruddy long for a blog entry.

sick again?!

I officially declare that I hate how unfair everything in the world is cos as I'm getting loads better from my prolonged cough, the virus decided to make my life unbearable and invited the flu monster to reside in my body as well.

Totally can feel them having fun together, what with an extremely itchy nose and throat.

GAHH!

The only positive thing about this is that I won't be able to snack on CNY tidbits and thus getting a step closer of my goal to look anorexic. For your information, I intend to be so slim that you can literally see the grains of rice passing through my oesophagus to my (flat) stomach. Oh wait, that means I'll have no boobies.

But from past experiences, illnesses sadly do not have the desired effect of curbing my appetite for nonsense or for anything for that matter. I totally can gain weight even if I have a blocked nose so severe that it cuts off my olfactory related nerves. So... in the end nothing changes! There is no plus point for me when I get sick. Sucks.

Speaking of CNY... I haven't even gotten my clothes! Oh my god. And I don't think I'll have enough time to. :( So I might secretly wear something old though it would be pretty obvious, and blithely exclaim, "No what! I never wear this shirt last time (for 2 weeks)." Then I'll ignore everyone who makes snide remarks about it and continue winning for the tenth time running in mahjong.

Oh and I want money to faster enter my pocket!! A bunch of good friends' birthdays are arriving and I feel so horrible for not even thinking what to get them yet. Guess there will be a lot of overdued ones. So sorry! Cos personally I don't like receiving belated presents... But I still accept them anyway HAHA.

Ok lala-land here I come. Hope I'll get better in no time.

lust &such

I didn't realized it's the 20th of Jan already! Oh my time really flies when your days are packed...

Anyway I want to get a camera! Any recommendations? I quite like the FinePix Z20fd but the reviews like not very good leh... But I love the colour!




Here's a bigass picture heheh.

And I'm suddenly very attracted to the Adidas Candy yellow watch. Don't know why, have been walking pass it almost weekly since last year without giving it a hoot and suddenly it's, ohhhh I likeeee!!! <333




I scare myself sometimes.

Yes andddd, I told myself and a friend (witness) that I would slap myself if I buy it. Cos I'm looking for sponsor! Haha. So bu yao lian. But I don't want to spend like what I have for the rest of my life.

Ahem. Hint hint.

Anyway today was a rather well spent day with Ivy, TP and GG! Despite having a horrendous hair day. Started off with steak at Jack's Place for lunch. :D Very long never eat nice food already. And I had no idea why I upgraded my Soup of the Day to Lobster Bisque when I don't even like it. >:( $$$ Waking up too early has addled my brains.

Then headed down to the Fairprice Xtra in AMK Hub and I got an earful when they said I tried to make the BS guy's life difficult. :( Must see whether he knows his stuff what... Anyway it was damn funny.

Then woohoo, headed to the arcade! It's totally one of the best stress-relieving days I've ever had. The drumming game (forgot the name) is quite fun and I look forward to playing it again. After I have money. Speaking of which, I think I shall start an 'arcade fund' so I will have money to play! Muahahaha! And maybe put 5% of what I have everyday so it would grow! Yay!

Or maybe I should save up for the watch.

-slaps self-

Ok some pictures for the day:

See my bf so pro HAHAHHAHAHA (inside joke)

YAYYYY.

peek at my thoughts

My eyes are feeling all droopy so I hope to at least make sense in this blog entry before I go to bed.

What kind of friend can one be classified under if instead of saying you make a significance in their life, they say that they hope they had made a significance in my life?

Reliable? Or just plain self-centred.

Such trivial issues are randomly popping up in my mind and my puny brain seems unable to cope with it.

Anyway I'm really excited that this month's going to end off with a fatter wallet and a new lease of life. :) Hopefully no big tummy to go with it.

Ok taaa I'm dozing off by the keyboard lol.

random thoughts

My emotions are all warped out right now.

Just want to have a good sleep and don't think about anything.

Anyway, is it always true that one would learn to appreciate the presence of another only when that person is not there? Seems so. Today two kind souls helped a poor me to dump all the not-so-light trash when I took a wrong turn and was 'lost'.




Although reward not very satisfactory, I am thankful it taught me a few vital stuff about life. Hope tomorrow would be a better day. Goodnight.

yay to potential net fat loss

At the rate I'm going, I hope to have sexy gams by Chinese New Year. From non-stop walking, standing and tiptoeing. Yup. Calf fat begone!! Oh oh and a great posture to go with it!

Wishful thinking.

I am starting to feel tired at such an early time like this. Oh dear. My lifestyle is so unbecoming. Haha. I can hardly blog coherently, but I still managed to solve a differentiation question yay!

On a side note, I don't know if I should go for class gathering on the 24th. > < Should I??

i hope to look back and think this is gibberish

And now is the time of the day, where insecurity decides to make itself comfy in the middle of my head.

Sometimes I wonder, if friends will remain as friends, if enemies will remain as enemies as time passes. If friends are really friends, and not just both parties having an understanding an inch deep. What is a true friend? Sometimes everyone is oh-so-happy-we-are-a-clique and start getting together and hanging around, but on other times it feels kind of superficial and I really have to suppress certain thoughts that would otherwise spoil a perfectly fine day.

Friends may come in droves, but at the end of the day, who are those that would actually bother if you come knocking at their doors in despair? And those that bother, who would go all the way rather than have a flitting feeling of irritation in the midst of it all?

Doubts, doubts.

For me, in times of need, the first persons that come into my mind can be counted with only one hand. As for the rest... I suppose they would fall under something slightly better than fair-weathered friends? I classify my friends similar to Burgess concentric circle model and the core is coincidentally made up of people I know during a certain period of time.

And yet despite this group of close friends, who do not seem to take each other very well, I sometimes still get a pang of loneliness especially at night when silence is prevalent and the occasional sounds come from the weak breeze outside. I cannot tell if it is due to the fear of losing them or if their friendship is questionable. They all have their own lives and their own social circles. Who am I to demand my position in their course of life? Being a somewhat self-conscious person, I really want to know if I am as important to them as they are so significantly entwined in my life, or this random passerby who only smiles and waves and then disappear into nothingness.

I get this nagging feeling that I am demanding too much from my friends.

Hand on heart, I totally require their most of their attention whenever there are outings as I feel it is quite impolite to be yakking on the phone half the time while with others or to be constantly twiddling with their phone buttons every 5 minutes or so. I feel that sincerity is very important, and for that to be exuded it would need mostly undivided attention from the other party. Though I am sometimes guilty of the above, I still feel a twinge of annoyance whenever I see the said friend ever so often checking his/her phone for new messages and the likes. And when I see my core friends doing as such, unpleasant thoughts start forming inside my head like, wth is going out with me so boring? etc.

Due to these unnecessarily high demands, I am once in a while saddened by them and all the insecurity crap kicks in again. Or maybe it's cos I have learned to emotionally detach myself from people too well, and now I cannot distinguish between the good and the bad, the sincere and the phony.


Ok it's a goddamn 5am I'd better stop thinking so much and try to fall asleep. Ta.

what a lovely friend i am

I am seriously disgusted by myself.

I was typing this long entry moaning about how extremely foul my mood was just now cos there were this two freaking groups of people that pissed me off real badly via SMS, especially when I was happily out in Chinatown trying to be infected with the CNY mood and all, which failed FYI. And it dragged from dinner at Maxwell Food Centre all the way til Great World City- about a couple of hours I think. The fumes were like building up through me for like 2 or so hours and when I reached home I intended to blog out all my hatred and hopefully make the world a more unfriendly place.

As I was trying my best to convert these mundane whining into a more lyrical form, a dear friend enlightened me about one of the groups of people that I was hopping mad about.

AND NOW I FEEL SO EVIL AND MEAN FOR BEING ANGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Guilt poured into me quicker than water through a broken dam that I immediately deleted whatever I was shrieking (in my head, that's the tone) about.

I SHOULD SERIOUSLY WIN THE "WORST FRIEND EVER" AWARD.

-buries head in hands-

I have always considered myself a pretty good friend to my pals. Yes, I like to whine, bitch, yadda yadda, but if any of you need a helping hand, I will always do my best to help no matter how big the issue is. Sounds like self-promoting. -wry smile-

But this time, I freaking blew my top cos I reckon that this party totally put me in a bad mood and spoil the day's plans and so on, without pausing to think that maybe they have their reasons and was trying to put it in a non-offensive way. Guiltguiltguilt. I am actually so selfish and only know how to think for my well-being instead of seeing it from the other person's point of view. And the person has been my friend for like what, 6 years already?

I am so ashamed of myself.

I should have known it. Now that it has been spelt out word for word in front of my face, the vague hints that they have dropped time and again seem to resurface and piece themselves into this piece of information that I, a 6 years friend, failed to notice from the very start. Ok, I lied a little. I have actually seen some of these unnatural actions but I chose to laugh it off, thinking it probably isn't very significant. But now thinking, if I were in your shoes, I would surely make a big hoo-ha out of it and everything would not be the way it is today. But you kept silent. For all this time. Not bringing it into everyone's attention. Ha, so you.

So thus, my New Year resolution for 2009 is: to be a hell lot more sensitive to my friends' subtle actions and not to jump straight to conclusions and piss myself badly.

The above cannot accurately show how I'm feeling right now, cos I'm really really really freaking guilty. I think I shall treat the said party nicer by 3129803 times from now on. :(

Nonetheless, I am glad that the realization sunk in sooner than later where it would just be more awkward for everyone. I AM SO SORRY MY DEAR FRIENDDDDDDDDDDD (though they wouldn't see this anyway)

Emo...

plant fetish, no?

Hello!

Had meant to blog sooner but wasn't in a good mood (what's new here), but now since my mood has been lifted immensely, here I am! Muahahaha.

I was rather relieved my cake turned out to be passable, considering the batter looked and felt suspiciously similar to what you barf out during an indigestion. Tasted better after chilling it for about a day. :) Not bad for a first-timer. And dear Andrea, fail a couple of times doesn't mean always fail ok HAHA.


Wheee.


Yesterday threatened to be another sitandrotathome day but very fortunately I've a companion with the same plight so we decided to go out! Botanic Gardens, no less. What to do, lack of the chkchng.




Some random pictures of the day. Most of it with Andrea who is using a proper camera. Gaah. I want a camera too! And I've got to stop having shaky hands.

And finally, my willing subject of the day:
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Shho cutee nehhx! :D

omg-ly dumb

Gahh I'm bored. Nothing new here.

And since I was bored, I decided to bring forward my baking plans from after I wake up to before I sleep, fully forgetting that I chose not to bake today cos...

I HAVE NO WHISK/MIXER.

And this realization dawned only when I reach the step which requires it. -___-

I AM SO DUMBBBBBBBBB.

So poor me who was happy cos I had something new to do had to shelf the half-done base of cake into the fridge, as well as the loose ingredients. I am once again very bored. And stop telling me to use chopsticks!! Original instructions say electric mixer so whisk is a downgrade already! Use chopstick will take until next year!

Grumble grumble grumble. Which brings me back to square one- boreddddddd.

All my exciting sounding plans for post As which I had made a mental note to do as I rushed through Integration last year seems to be tucked right at the back of my head and refuse to budge. So I'm reduced to playing Groword on Viwawa practically every night due to an unfortunate case of insomnia. Unless I can muster up the interest to read Forbes Asia which is conveniently placed in front of me in hopes of all the content diffusing into my brain while i MSN/blog surf/Viwawa.

In the midst of all my whining something terribly important slipped off my mind. Yes. Ahem.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!! <3


I really hope this year's cake is edible. Not like the one a few years back... Salty with bitter aftertaste. Eew. Never mind! This one no salt HAHA.

What I only could do

Contrary to popular belief, it is not human manure placed neatly in a metal tray but actually an Oreo cookie base. Which smells great. Though simple, I'm actually quite happy I was able to do it myself. > < Shows my culinary skills doesn't it.

Please pretend that you never realise that I'm baking at a retarded time of 3am.


Ok finally the sleeping bug has bitten and I think I shall turn in for the day. :) Goodnighttttt





Note to self: Borrow whisk from Andrea

hello 2009!

A bit late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Haha and the funniest thing is that I actually received SMSes that wish a happy CHINESE new year. -__-

Looking back at 2008, I've decided to recollect some of the stuff that are more significant to me in the previous year. Which I believe to be quite limited. :/ Here goes!

1. A Levels. God that sucked.
2. Jet-skiied.
3. Banana-boated.
   
4. First non-Nokia phone.
5. Made some really unexpected good friends.
6. Drink. Drank. Drunk.
7. Re-established contact with old friends.
8. Gamble in a casino.
9. Mistaken for 16 THRICE !@#$%^&*
10. Went to Sentosa. (class outing. I still don't see the pull of that place)
11. Discover the awesome Xiao Jing Teng :D
12. Ton in airport.
13. Hated so many people at the same time.
14. Weeded out bloody hypocrites. I'm quite proud of this actually.
15. Spent a lot just for a dumb event where everyone just takes pictures and whatever, I don't care how ugly you think I look. Cos you're probably uglier.
16. Played table tennis properly.
17. Got half decent results for Physics.
18. Cook a decent meal for family.
19. Forgave and forget.
20. Freaked out of my wits by a mad man and turned a delicious shade of white.
    

Nothing much interesting sia after I reviewed the list. Must be due to school. Or that I have no life. Boohoo. At least I actually get out of the house instead of gluing myself to the TV or whatever.

Anyway, the last 2 public holidays, Xmas and New Year's eve were spent on a happy note thanks to awesome company!! :D Pictures up in a bit.

Xmas - granddad's house, Hooters (BF packedddd! > <). Ate, drank, talk cock, lazed by Singapore River.
New Year's eve - Chinatown HAHAHA. Explored a little then at night came home for mahjong!! Yes super shiok cos I won a tidy bit muahahahahahaha. Yay to L who could fit it in in such a tight notice!


Ok tata I'm going watch the recording of Little Nyonya!