I am downright turned off at how superficial some guys can get.

Pardon me, I haven't been a beauty all my life and it's like only this year that random people online started adding and talking to me. At first it's kind of flattering lah, people commenting on how ok you look and yadda yadda. Made me feel a lil better about myself and not as ugly/fat. At this point I would like to repeat that I haven't been a beauty all my life and I rarely get any compliments on my looks and stuff, so if you're deprived of it you would surely welcome some right. They will say they want to know you better and such, which is ok in my books. But the limit came when some physical stuff were asked. E.g. "What are your vital stats?" and "What is your weight?"

To these people, please FUCK OFF TO HELL.

From a Mr Nice Guy to a Mr I-Am-Concerned-About-Your-Figure Guy. Say what, "Oh, I just want to know you better." BULLSHIT. How can a cup size determine what kind of person you are? Like, oh an A means I'm a boring person, B means I'm quite nice at times, C means I'm a nasty person, D means I'm great in bed? And this is called knowing you better? Yeah, like what kind of curves you have. Sucker.

So, feeling quite pissed and wanting to determine if one of the guys is indeed shallow, I texted him a question on why he even bothered talking to me. The reply was like, "cos you're (enter adjective that describes one physically), that's for sure".

Like, WTH?! So means I gain a couple more inches in my thighs, you will not recognise my existance right?!

BAH. I still believe that the inner beauty is the one that counts, although looks do play some part. But I cannot stand it when some people just use looks as their measuring stick when it comes to knowing someone. And from what I know, good looking people (those that I know of anyway) have rubbish personalities. So there.

I was quite mean to one of them some time ago, and he didn't really talk much to me after that. That's my cousins' advice. But being the nice me and all, I felt really bad and recently (as in, now?) initiated talking to him and such. And now (a few seconds later), I began to regret my decision.

Argh. Now I know why I shouldn't trust or treat people online too well. Oh, it also irks the shit out of me when there are those people who think that I can't live without their presence, and start playing hard to get and stuff. Hello?! I can live perfectly well without the likes of you, perhaps even better! It omits the emotion roller coaster whenever I think I finally meet someone that can really understand me. Yes, I'm the kind who is easily xin dong and flattered and trusts people way to easily. I really need to stop this nonsense right now. Maybe I need kick my portrayed self-esteem up a notch. If not these assholes might think they've found an easy prey and start acting like bastards. I really really really really feel like kicking their dicks and tying it into a knot.

I don't think I'll ever get attached. I don't even know if I want to get attached. I generally lost confidence in guys nowadays.

Currently my emotions are in a muddle. Confused. Angry. Frustrated. Life makes a fool out of me, and then fucks me upside down.