I conclude that I only feel a sense of emotional attachment when I listen to songs.

-.-

But the person in mind is... no one.

Serious. I just feel loved, blessed and blissful all at once, for no apparent reason. Ok, maybe there's a slight tinge of melancholy to it. But generally I do feel really happy.

Perhaps I have painted a too picture perfect image of how I would like my relationship to be, one that it is miles from reality. That might explain the inability to connect with any being to a certain extent, as I always have it in my head that he will not be able to give me what I want. To be distant will be less hurting than to cling onto hopes that were never there. Idol dramas. They suck you into a fantasy world where everything is just so perfect, desirable but unrealistic that the shit is irritated out of you when it dawns upon you that the world is nothing like that and therefore, sucks real bad. At least for me.


Those are random thoughts that flitted into my mind while searching for a damn timpani score.


Time to chuck aside the idol dramas. Time to watch the news.


Timpani solo scores are fucking difficult to find online. Free ones. GAH.