Spotting his face amidst others while browsing through friendster pics caused an internal reaction so violent that I felt like retching.

It is like the 21th time I'm listening to 粱山伯与茱丽叶and anyone who knows me well enough would start to worry since I have an extremely low threshold for this song (then). But now it's stuck in my head going on and on and I'm starting to think that it is actually quite a nice song. If you don't count in the chorus, which I still think is quite dumb.

为什么你还是不言不语
难道你不懂我的心
不管你用什么方式表明
我会对你说我愿意
.
.
.

Ok super no mood to study now since my mind's pretty occupied with the face of S (Someone haha). Everytime he drifts further to near non-existance in mind, something must happen that pulls him back fervently to the Top Ten Things to Think About Today list. Very irritating you know, like flitting in and out of my head. And without warning he'll just flutter away without turning back, leaving me and my holey head (haha ok not funny) behind, emotions spewing out from the holes. These holes will take forever to mend, and upon its recovery he will just miraculously appear again and I'll go and shoot myself. If only I could read signs for myself as I can for my friends, which happens to be quite accurate, then no need to think so much, just go for the kill. Haha. So happens that those who know either don't want to help, or are lousy readers. Not their fault really, just that I tend to give biased accounts on what has happened hahaha.

Ok this post isn't getting anywhere... Anyway if you still don't know, I tend to be quite open in my writing minus the names and minus the full incident as compared to real life so I might be in quite an awkward position if you ask me about what I write in a face-to-face conversation and give answers with no link haha. I don't know how some people can just talk and talk to you like they've known you since you were in diapers when in actually fact they only know you for 5min. I find face-to-face conversations endlessly awkward and stressful. Besides talking you still need to control your facial expression, watch out your body language, look engaged, listen and internalize what the other party has to say and think of how to keep up the conversation. Very hard leh! Thank god for inventions like the phone and the internet which has tremendously aided my communication skills (near null mind you) and cling on to what reminds of my social life. Although FTF conversations are better for me nowadays as I am more exposed to different people, I still find it difficult to make eye contact or even look at the person's face while talking. So, sorry people, when I look away doesn't mean I find you as boring as Physics. More like I need to prevent myself from breaking down from stress.

That's why the computer and my cell phone are my best friends. Gives you ample time to think and react. I like.

Omg I spent 2 hours typing all this gibberish I'd better get back to beloved Physics byebye.