I am sitting quietly in front of the computer, lecture notes in my hands. "Periodic Table", so the title reads. I shudder at its presence and proceed to login to Blogger and hence type this post.

Maybe it is the reflecting, but my current state suddenly hit me full force in the head during mid afternoon. I am not performing well at all, yet I am still engaging in pretty mindless activites as though I have an Alan residing in my brain to spoonfeed me with answers and knowledge which never belonged to me anyway.

"Then what are you still doing online!" you exclaim. "Wasting your time blogging and viwawa-ing and godknowswhatelse! You're really contradictory you know."

Yes I know. But when you're not in exactly the best of moods, I'm sure the last thing you would want to do is to study your guts out. I rather sort it all out first, go to bed to forget all of it, then study the next day. Hopefully it doesn't turn into a habit or else I'll pushing my revision all the way til the As come knocking at my door and I get a panic attack. There's so much to do and so little time, as I have to admit that my foundation for every subject is rather screwed. Panic rose to a peak then sunk down slowly as depression. But then as every thunderstorm ends with a lovely rainbow or what shit and you realise it's not the end of the world, a few good friends timely conversed with me and they really did lift my out of my horrid self-pitying state (slightly). Which made me try to throw away what's done and start planning what are my next steps. After all, shitty CT2 results are already a fact, but as to whether my As will be equally shitty is still a mystery. Oh and to warn you first, if i do get shitty A Level results, I will just kill everyone in sight. But that's not the point now. Yeah so I'm currently not so sad, more motivated and inspired by the people around me. (:

Bless the nice people who were concerned for me. I love you guys xoxoxoxo. And I won't give up.